I WRITE COPY FOR SEX*
Hello, I’m Lanie Green.
I’m pretty good with words. In a nutshell, I can create:
Technical jargon simplified quicker than you can become a rocket scientist.
Rambling paragraphs edited before you run out of breath and die.
A tone of voice that sounds like you, not a copy writer making a crank call.
Original copy created from pages of crap ‘copy and paste’ content (you know who you are).
Yawn-worthy, corporate documents transformed into bed time reading.
Web copy that clicks. (See what I did there?)
Me: Experienced (old), copy writer (frustrated, unpublished novelist), is available for all your copy writing projects (is sat waiting with a cat and a sharp-ish pencil).
So give me a call or drop me an email (basically, just reach out), to discuss your next project (give me a job before the cat does a wee on me).
*attention seeking headlines also written (*for actual money)
HERE’S SOME STUFF I DID EARLIER
Writing for a safety supplier feels good, particularly one that gives a sh*t.
It’s satisfying to know that the words I create aren’t just lip service; a clever marketing strategy to appear as the ‘caring’ company.
Just about every person in this business knows that what they do has consequences, that they don’t just sell stuff – they save lives.
It’s inspiring. And it’s meaningful to me, as my dad suffered a terrible industrial accident that robbed him of his lower arm. The effects of his disability had repercussions through the next generation of his family; issues that went beyond the physical and percolated into the psychological. I have a great deal of time for people who want to protect folk.
So, it’s been my absolute pleasure to be part of the Cromwell team for the last year and a bit. I’ve been helping to focus their customer facing messages, develop a brand story and a whole raft of other, brilliant projects that involve telling their story.
And it’s a great story.
The most flattering thing is when a client is so happy with your work that they seek you out when they move onto another role. How thrilled was I to be invited to yet another beautiful hotel – I really should have been a luxury travel writer!
This time, part of the international Corus Hotel Group. (Still holding out for an overseas recci).
The launch of their new immersive experience, Burnham Beeches meant refreshing the website. The brief: to capture the location, the history, the atmosphere and every other quality that makes it a successful destination. Walking in the grounds and enjoying the friendly environment certainly helped the words flow, although I write plenty of copy from the remoteness of my dining table.
It’s also nice to switch up the style for a client. That’s exactly what happened when Corus asked me to summarise their hotel management business, a completely different proposition which had to be corporate but maintain a similar tone of voice.
It meant realigning their values and getting to grips with an entirely business focussed approach, appealing to an audience of investors and owners. I loved writing every word, from the executive team’s biographies to the sustainability policy.
I continue to dip in and out of projects for Corus, and I look forward to more on-site visits.
www.immersivehospitalitymanagement.com
“Simply beautiful writing! Lanie captures our brand perfectly and understands our proposition as if she’s part of our team. I know that if I need help with anything, from whole websites to campaign headlines, Lanie will deliver.”
Sabrina O’Brien, Head of Marketing & PR
As a child of the 70’s (yes, I’m that old), concrete meant brutalist buildings, destined to be knocked down and replaced with millennium glass. It represented soviet utilitarianism. It’s what our local playground climbing apparatus was made of – a risky place that combined jeopardy and adventure. Swinging from the big ‘Swiss cheese’ wall was likely to end with knee grazes and elbow scabs. It was replaced in the 90’s with ropes and soft chippings, probably as a favour to the local A&E department.
The artisan craftsmen at Kelham Island Concrete are changing the perceptions of concrete by creating beautiful, sculptural pieces for homes and businesses.
I visited their workshop and couldn’t stop stroking the material, so tactile and surprisingly warm. It’s not just grey either!
Writing the words for their website and kitchen brochure was an education in contemporary concrete methods, and my new aspiration is to own an original piece. I’m thinking outdoor pizza kitchen. Best crack on and write some more words then.
“Working with Lanie to write our new website copy has been a pleasure. Brilliant writing. It made me smile as I read through the first draft and realised that she understood perfectly what we wanted to express and had totally captured our brand voice with just the right amount of character.
Creative, responsive and very easy to work with. I would highly recommend Lanie and will certainly be using her services in the future.”
Jo Flather, Marketing & Creative
Cheers!
Scotland. My favourite place in the whole world. The turbulent history, the rugged landscape and the friendly people, there’s a lot to fall in love with. Storytelling is rooted in the heritage and no one tells a yarn like a Scot. Listening to a tale that becomes more elaborate at every telling is no less enthralling than it might have been three centuries ago. Quite possibly made even more gripping with a glass of ‘uisge beatha’ or ‘water of life’, to use the Gaelic term.
Being asked to write about Scottish Whisky was an absolute pleasure. The research was an opportunity to explore the ‘spirit’ of Scotland – quite literally. The connection between whisky and heritage is undeniable and also murky at times. Distilled for over 500 years, preserved through siege and upheaval, hidden from the taxman and celebrated around the world, Scotch Whisky has endured to become a valuable commodity.
After writing advertorials for cask investment specialists, Whisky Partners, I’m a convert to the liquid gold. I’m also pretty sure it will be just as vital to Scotland for the next half millennia.
Entrepreneurs are hugely inspiring people, and you can’t help getting enthusiastic about their ambitions. That’s how I felt when I met Nick Middleton, who has spent years following his dream of creating the most advanced golfing platform. We spoke for hours about how it can transform even the most professional golfer’s game, but it wasn’t until I tried it out that I understood the impact. Having never picked up a golf club, I wasn’t the best at hitting the hole on a flat surface. But OMG, when I stood on the hydraulic floor that can recreate millions of real-world environments, I rocked. The Zen system is an entirely kinetic experience, forcing the body to play golf intuitively, rather than through instruction. I’d wrapped my head around the theory, but totally ‘got it’ after a ten minute session. Afterwards, I briefly considered a new career as a golfing pro. On reflection, the gear is a bit outré for me, so I’ll stick to writing in my joggers.
It was a joy to provide the words for their website, and explain to the world, what a properly unique invention it is.
“When it comes to fresh ideas that deliver, Lanie gets it, and gets the job done…first time, and in half the time it takes to disappear up the dangerous cul-de-sac of deliberation”
Nick Middleton, Founder of Zen Golf
Who doesn’t love a luxury break: comfy bed, room service, dinner with glass of fruity red and a visit to the spa? So I was thrilled when Horwood House asked me to edit their website and create monthly social media content.
Obviously a visit was necessary, so I could soak up the ambiance and experience Horwood’s philosophy of ‘hospitality with a heart’. I wasn’t disappointed. What a fabulous place, full of history, an impressive manor house and 38 acres of private countryside – the copy practically writes itself!
I look forward to the brief every month, which includes regular features: Wedding Wednesdays, Foodie Fridays and Supplier Spotlights. I’ve even been invited to write the odd poem, create animated ads and design some ‘in-room’ info – quite the all round project actually.
The best bit? My visits to Horwood (and that glass of red).
The local college had a HUGE issue with the ambience of their campus, largely due to the amount of disorganised information littering the walls.
The place had gone photo copier crazy, printing out posters describing a million rules THAT MUST BE FOLLOWED! It was a clip-art bonanza: some areas had three or four versions of the same message, which was a shame because the college had spent a LOT on a rebrand.
A swift audit (and mass removal) gave me a blank canvas – literally. Their new brand included a lovely typeface, a gift that shaped the copy which practically wrote itself. Although I claim 100% credit for it.
Here are just a few examples from the 35 new signs.
COSTS
A tenner says you skipped right to this page.
I can charge a project based rate, which is dependent on the brief. Once I understand what’s involved I’ll fix the fee so there are no surprises and it will include two sets of feedback amends.
If you need more flexibility, I’m up for a day rate: £400 for editing/curating existing text, shaping it into something splendid or £450 for creating original copy from a brief.
If all you need is a short paragraph, headlines, a bit of social content or some help with a few words, I’m £70 an hour – but I work quick!
Do you owe me a tenner?
Briefs Nailed
Drop me a line or give me a call and let’s create poetry together. Alternatively, off-load that crushing burden that’s been sat on your desk all week: you know you don’t want to tackle it and Geoff from marketing isn’t exactly Shakespeare is he?